Early on as a founder, I learned that sharing the pressure I was under had a negative impact on my team’s productivity. Financial information in an early stage company should come with a health warning. You need to understand the financial position of the business you’re running without obsessing over it. In my first business in my 20s, I allowed the strain of financial uncertainty to overwhelm me to the point of sabotaging the business. A valuable lesson that underpinned the success of future businesses: Cash flow matters enormously, but so does protecting your ability to believe in the vision and purpose while navigating the numbers.
When I first heard the phrase “toxic positivity,” it seemed like an oxymoron. But I understand the pressure to present a rosy picture of how a business is developing in order to secure the funds to make it happen. Founders must communicate possibility while living with uncertainty. That includes presenting a calm, positive face to your team. After all, your mood is their weather forecast.
Many leaders fail to understand that management starts with managing themselves. Often they simply don’t have the tools to do so. They don’t want to infect their team with their stress, but the pileup of negative information, such as an investor pulling out or a key customer choosing a competitor, shakes their calm. When you hold everything inside for a long time, you eventually crack. This takes a toll on you as well as your team.
The difference between pressure and stress
Pressure and stress feel fundamentally different. Pressure is positive. It pushes us to give our best and rise to a challenge. Stress is an anticipatory feeling based on fear of something that may not transpire. As a leader, your job is to give people purpose and direction so they can put appropriate pressure on themselves to achieve the company’s goals. You need to explain the challenge so they believe their actions can influence the outcome.
When you communicate your own panic, you can leave people feeling responsible for a situation they have little power to change. When you show that you can handle the pressure, you are giving them a reason to believe in their own contribution. That’s how success is built. Your job is to help create solutions, not just verbalize the things that aren’t working. Leaders who demonstrate problem-solving skills are more likely to inspire their team to come up with solutions.
Changing the voice behind the mood
Leadership begins with mind control: being in command of your own mind and the messages you feed yourself. The process I developed through trial and error was not originally about leadership. I wanted to become a less reactive parent. In doing that work, I became a less reactive person and a much more effective leader.
I created a new internal voice based on a mash-up of the words, approaches, and qualities of real people I admired as well as film and television characters. I wanted a voice that could nurture me, offer perspective, and be firm enough without making a difficult situation worse. Over time, I changed how I spoke to myself. The change was so profound that I wrote my book, It Starts With You, in the hope it would help others.
I run a business presenting an aspirational future that will increase our collective environmental resilience. Increasing our individual resilience feels like a natural part of this process. That internal voice became the calm mentor I could turn to when I was frightened or overwhelmed. It turned my previous, “What if this doesn’t work?” into a productive and calm, “What actions will move this situation forward?” It helped me stop treating every setback as a verdict on my future. I started to acknowledge the problem, stay calm, and decide what to do next.
Give your team a forecast they can use
Being calm does not mean keeping your team in the dark. Tell them what affects their work, what remains uncertain, and what you are doing about it. My method created a gap between feeling and speaking. That gap is everything because it allows you to check your own actions. Are you imparting useful information or are you just expressing your own fear? When you are in command of your own mind, you know the difference and act with purpose.
You are the person sustaining your mood, which is why managing it is so vital. Cash flow management is a necessary task to keep a business alive, but it is not an exact science. Your ability to continue while the numbers are catching up is usually what makes them catch up. Your internal voice needs to support both realism and resolve. When you are in command of your mind, the way your team works changes. They can bring you problems without worrying that they will tip you over the edge. This gives you more information with which to create success.
Building a business is rarely smooth sailing. Those challenges help team members grow. The trick is to ensure you have direction and a meaningful role in meeting the challenge. The difference is you. Is your team focused on building through adversity or bracing for your next storm?