During the past 25 years, I’ve helped leaders build their executive presence. I’ve seen how a strength that helped someone succeed can begin working against them when they rely on it too much.
Executive presence is a set of behaviors, and even positive behaviors can lose their value when used too much or at the wrong time. For example, a behavior you see as collaborative may come across as indecisive when taken too far. Humility can make your contributions less visible. Thoroughness can make you seem less concise and clear.
Here are seven strengths that can become weaknesses when taken too far and how to recognize when these strengths start working against you.
1. RESPECT CAN BECOME DEFERENCE
Some leaders I coach are assertive with peers but much more deferential when senior executives are present. When challenged, they give in too quickly, withhold contrary views, or wait for the more powerful person to share an opinion first. They believe they are showing respect.
Senior leaders need your perspective and expertise, especially when you see something differently.
You can respectfully challenge their position by saying, “I see the issue differently. Here is why.”
2. CONFIDENCE CAN BECOME DOMINANCE
Confidence is a critical executive presence capability, but it can cause problems when it becomes dominance. Some leaders I work with are so confident in their position that they quickly push back when a contrary view is presented.
Over time, people learn to avoid challenging them, which can end up creating bigger problems in the long term. You may think everyone agrees with you when they have simply stopped telling you what they think.
Make room for disagreement. You might say, “This is where I think we should go, but what am I missing?”
3. HUMILITY CAN BECOME SELF-MINIMIZATION
I coach many high achieving leaders who have difficulty talking about their accomplishments. They feel that demonstrating their expertise is self-serving. This can make their contributions and impact less visible to senior leaders.
They downplay the role they played or give others too much credit because talking about their own accomplishments feels uncomfortable.
Don’t diminish your expertise in the name of humility. Executive presence includes owning your work. You can acknowledge others while still taking credit for your own.
4. COLLABORATION CAN BECOME INDECISION
The leaders I’ve worked with who are effective collaborators can struggle with making decisions. They value the counsel of others so much that they have difficulty ending the discussion. Even after receiving enough input, they schedule another meeting or continue seeking opinions.
What looks like collaboration to you can appear as indecisiveness to your stakeholders.
Collaboration has a finish line. You’ve reached it when you’ve heard from the right people, considered the different perspectives, and another conversation is unlikely to change the decision. You can say, “I’ve heard everyone’s views. Here is what we’re going to do.” Then make the decision.
5. EMPATHY CAN LEAD TO AVOIDANCE
Some of the most empathetic leaders I coach find it challenging to give difficult feedback. They care about how the other person will feel, but that concern can make them reluctant to deliver the message.
They worry about damaging the relationship, so they delay the feedback or soften it to the point that the message doesn’t get across.
You can care about how someone will react and still give them the feedback they need to hear. Empathy doesn’t mean holding back. Be considerate while still being direct and clear about what needs to change. In fact, the kindest thing a leader can do is be clear so that someone doesn’t keep repeating the same mistakes.
6. THOROUGHNESS CAN LEAD TO OVEREXPLAINING
Some leaders I coach are so thorough that they can lose a busy executive’s attention. They spend so much time digging into the details that the main point gets buried.
With senior leaders, you need to be careful about providing too much information. If you’re looking to influence an executive, focus on what they need to know.
Start with: “My recommendation is X. Here are three points to consider.”
7. INCLUSIVENESS CAN MAKE YOU RELUCTANT TO TAKE A POSITION
Inclusive leaders want others to feel welcome and valued. But in making room for everyone else’s views, they can hold back their own.
I’ve observed this pattern in meetings. Leaders ask for everyone else’s views without stating their own position. Eventually, others aren’t sure what they stand for.
Being inclusive doesn’t mean being neutral. State clearly what you believe while leaving room for different views. For example: “I want to hear the best arguments against my position, but my current position is that we move forward with Option A.”
THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE STOPPED QUESTIONING
When people want to improve their executive presence, they often focus on their weaknesses. But it’s also worth looking at what you already do well and asking whether you rely on it too much.
Which of these strengths do you use most often? Is it still helping you, or is it starting to work against you?
Being a leader requires range. Sometimes you need to collaborate, and sometimes you need to decide. You need to listen to others without losing your own point of view, and show empathy while still addressing difficult issues.
Knowing your strengths matters. Knowing when to adjust them matters just as much.