Breaking Donald Trump’s Cycle of Abuse

A “signs of an abuser” quiz on the San Diego County Sheriff’s Office website reveals what Americans have observed during the Trump presidency, especially survivors of intimate partner violence. Specifically, Does your partner play mind games? Does your partner act negatively to authority figures? Does your partner call you names? Does your partner belittle or talk down to you? Does your partner blame you if something goes wrong? Does your partner use shame to control a situation or get their way?

A different government website lists financial signs of an abuser, such as stealing money from you, and “forcing or pushing you to give them the money you make.” Remember when Trump sought a personal payout of $230 million in taxpayer dollars, and the $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS, claiming that he was wronged by the government? Or his $1.776 billion “anti-weaponization” fund to pay January 6 insurrectionists?

The signs are all hiding in plain sight.

Just last week, Trump demonstrated why so many Americans believe that he lacks the temperament to be president or the ability to appropriately relate to women. Trotting out a familiar trope, he called CNN reporter Kaitlin Collins a “young beautiful woman,” and then berated her for not smiling, announcing to a group of reporters, “I see her standing there with hatred in her eyes, like she has hatred, because we had borders, because we have a strong military.”

None of this is new, and that’s why it’s dangerous and a threat to the United States.

Americans continue to be harmed by the actions of this administration and president. In his personal capacity—for which there is no criminal immunity—and in his role as leader of the United States, Trump has demonstrated poor judgment and ill temperament. As noted by federal judges, including the justices on the US Supreme Court, President Trump has ignored Congress and court orders. His response? “They’re just being fools and lapdogs for the Rhinos and the radical left Democrats,” he said, referring to the Supreme Court justices, in February.

Simply put, Trump is a president who ignores the rule of law, shows disdain for courts, and contempt for critics, including within the Republican Party. For this and more, Americans need to confront not only how we end this abusive relationship, but also how we prevent this type of assault from within from ever happening again.

Nearly 10 years ago, Donald Trump secured his first term as president, winning the 2016 election and defeating former secretary of state Hillary Clinton. Notably, just weeks before the election, David A. Fahrenthold broke a now-infamous story about a recording of Trump telling former NBC morning show host Billy Bush, “when you’re a star,” women let you “grab them by the pussy.” The full transcript can be read here. Trump’s casualness about groping women by their vaginas and committing sexual assault was chilling then and is no less offensive and alarming now, particularly in light of the dozens of accusations against the president and a number of his closest advisers. Myriad photos of Trump with Jeffrey Epstein before 2016 have since gained a darker meaning.

The recording, taped by Access Hollywood in 2005, includes audio as well as some video footage. In the weeks that followed the release of the tapes, numerous women obtained lawyers, called reporters, wrote editorials; all claimed that Trump inappropriately and unlawfully touched them. Lawyers offered to provide free legal services to these women and any others who had similar experiences but were afraid to speak out.

More than a dozen women came forward, painfully recalling instances where they say Trump assaulted them—on airplanes, in his office, outside of the US Tennis Open Stadium in Flushing, New York, and various other cities and states. They are mothers, instructors, businesswomen, and former beauty pageant participants. Trump defended himself against the allegations and threatened to sue.

Then and now, Trump continues to claim he is not a sexual assaulter, despite a New York jury’s unanimously finding that he sexually assaulted journalist and advice columnist E. Jean Carroll. In fact, Judge Lewis Kaplan, who presided over the case, wrote in the 59-page order that E. Jean Carroll “convincingly established and the jury implicitly found that Mr. Trump deliberately and forcibly penetrated Ms. Carroll’s vagina with his fingers, causing immediate pain and long lasting emotional and psychological harm.”

Remarkably, Trump’s Department of Justice has now launched an investigation into E. Jean Carroll—another sign that the president has weaponized the agency for his personal bidding, to go after his critics and those who seek to hold him accountable.

At the time, news media such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, the LA Times, the Chicago Tribune, and The Wall Street Journal warned Americans that this type of verbosity and misogyny in Trump’s public commentary was nothing new. According to Fortune, “It’s no secret that Donald Trump has made many sexist and misogynistic comments both before and during his campaign.”

The problem for the United States and the world is that he is no longer candidate Trump; he’s been elected twice to serve as the president.

Former Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly interviewed him on August 6, 2015, at the first Republican presidential debate, asking: “You’ve called women you don’t like fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals.… You once told a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice it would be a pretty picture to see her on her knees. Does that sound to you like the temperament of a man we should elect as president?”

Trump brushed aside Kelly’s question, claiming he was “kidding,” and enjoying “a good time.” Distressing, however, was his warning: “And honestly, Megyn, if you don’t like it, I’m sorry. I’ve been very nice to you, although I could probably maybe not be, based on the way you have treated me. But I wouldn’t do that.” Months later, Kelly would release a book, claiming that not only had her question to Trump been leaked prior to the debate in question but that quite possibly someone—and she does not allege who—tried to poison her. For his part, Trump concluded his scrap with Kelly on Twitter and CNN, asserting that the news anchor “had blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.”

Trump’s transgressions against women have not only been his self-described groping, his demeaning female reporters, and the sexual assault against E. Jean Carroll, but also attacks on reproductive healthcare, including contraception and abortion. Beyond ordering the incineration of nearly $10 million in birth control overseas, and decimating access to preventive care abroad and at home, Trump has said there should be some form of punishment for women who seek abortions. At the time, in 2016, it raised serious constitutional law questions. What types of punishment? How would the state carry out such punishment? Whom would the state choose to punish? Ultimately, he nominated Supreme Court justices who would do his bidding and overturn Roe v. Wade—at least one promise he has kept.

However, Trump’s assault or domestic violence is not only against women or people with the capacity for pregnancy; it’s a much broader threat. Trump’s machismo approach to governance has directly led to the targeting and even killing of American demonstrators—actions defended by his administration. In Minnesota, Renée Good was shot in the head and killed by an ICE agent. Alex Pretti, an intensive care nurse who worked with veterans, was gunned down days later by Border Patrol and Customs and Border Protection agents. There have been others targeted and harmed for standing up to the administration’s callous priorities. Trump has weaponized the Department of Justice to retaliate against judges and defy court rulings. He has ignored Congress and assumed powers that he does not have, including related to tariffs, and the war with Iran.

Trump’s attacks on our democracy and disregard for the rule of law are nothing short of domestic violence—and we should identify and treat them as such. This includes the threats against academic freedom, law firms, critical funding for science and innovation, the Department of Education, and First Amendment freedoms, and the rollback of crucial environmental and health protections.

His priorities have been particularly cruel toward women. His administration has attempted to disenfranchise or make it more difficult for 69 million women to vote through its support of the SAVE Act. Officials have fired high-level women officials across the government from the military to the Library of Congress. By dismantling or freezing key federal health programs, such as Title X—signed into law by President Nixon—the administration has literally put women’s life at risk.

The National Women’s Law Center has put it this way: “The Trump administration…has taken aim at the very idea that gender equality is a shared, national value, recasting…discrimination as an acceptable norm.”

The United States Congress, courts, and civil society need an intervention plan. At the center of extracting the US from this domestic violence is not only the 2026 midterm elections but also active work to make sure this never happens again. Without this work, we risk further numbness and indifference to Trump’s brand of gross misconduct and misdeeds that may be difficult for the nation to ever fully recover from.

One thing is for certain: While the president has sought to belittle and harass women, line his pockets, pursue war in Iran, invade Venezuela, threaten Cuba, and take over Greenland, what he has not done is provide a coherent plan of care and attention for Americans, especially women.