The president’s decision to commandeer the DOJ to argue that his ballroom is a security necessity is the ultimate sign that this country is in decline.
Donald Trump looks out at the White House Ballroom construction site.
(Al Drago / Bloomberg via Getty Images)
Donald Trump’s White House ballroom is the thing that proves America is in its decline. It’s Nero’s fiddle. It’s Marie Antionette’s cake. In an era of environmental catastrophe, on the precipice of the robot revolution, in a time of war, during a period of economic hardship, and in the immediate aftermath of an assassination attempt, this gilded playspace has become the focus not only of the sitting president but also of the Department of Justice, the American press corps, and several courts.
The full-on bonkers nature of the obsession became truly apparent earlier this week when Trump decided to use the failed attempt on his life to gin-up public support for his ballroom—which is a wild thing to write much less live through. “This event would never have happened with the Militarily Top Secret Ballroom currently under construction at the White House. It cannot be built fast enough!” Trump posted on Truth Social, echoing comments he made on Fox News shortly after the assassination attempt.
The idea that Trump needs a top secret (that everybody knows about) ballroom for presidential security is like saying JFK needed a faster convertible. It’s preposterous. The latest assassination attempt happened at an event where Trump was an invited guest, not the host; the dinner wouldn’t have taken place in the ballroom even if it existed. And the same goes for the previous assassination attempt, which happened on one of Trump’s golf courses, and the one before that, which took place at one of his own campaign rallies. Neither of those events would have taken place in a ballroom. Having a secure place for Trump to host visiting sycophants would not have protected him from these threats.
That basic reality has not stopped Trump, his lackeys, and whatever the hell John Fetterman is these days from using every media orifice available to them to make the case for the ballroom. Nor has their effort to bring back the gilded age, one failed assassination attempt at a time, been limited to television and social media. Preposterously, the administration is trying to get the courts to greenlight Trump’s Sun King renovations on the ridiculous theory that gold-plated chandeliers stop bullets. They’ve immortalized their nonsensical argument in a court motion.
That motion marks a new low in the history of the Department of Justice, in the history of Trump’s Department of Justice, which is saying something. But I really do believe we’ve reached a nadir—at least until the next horror I lack the creativity to imagine.
To fully appreciate it, you have to understand the state of play with the legal challenges to the ballroom.
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The National Trust for Historic Preservation, a privately funded non-profit organization chartered by Congress in 1949, sued to stop construction of Trump’s ballroom. US District Judge Richard Leon, who was appointed by George W. Bush, ruled that Trump lacked the “unilateral authority” to continue with the construction. The White House is “the people’s house” after all, not Mar-a-Lago North. The DOJ, on behalf of Trump, appealed to the DC Circuit Court of Appeals, where the case is still pending.
It is important to note that Judge Leon allowed the below-ground “bunker” portion of the construction project to go forward. If Trump wants to stay in a bunker all day, nobody will stop him. The only thing halted is the above-ground construction of what was formerly known as the East Wing. The president cannot decide by personal fiat how the White House looks.
This all happened before the botched assassination attempt. After, the DOJ sent a letter to the National Trust, asking it to voluntarily dismiss this suit. The National Trust declined. In a response, Gregory Craig, the lawyer representing National Trust, wrote: “Your assertion that this lawsuit puts the President’s life at ‘grave risk’ is incorrect and irresponsible.… Simply put, this case does not jeopardize the President’s safety in any way.”
Good on Greg. Sometimes you have to tell these people that they are stupid to their face.
In response, the DOJ fully beclowned itself. Associate Attorney General Stanley Woodward, a previously random Trump criminal defense attorney who has risen to the third highest position within the Department of Justice, filed a motion with Judge Leon asking for an “indicative ruling” against his previous judgement.
To put that in laymen’s terms, these freaking people asked a sitting judge to overrule himself in a case that has already been appealed and he has no further authority over. Leon cannot change the course of the lawsuit now, he has literally already entered a ruling. And yet, the DOJ asked him to essentially say, “I’d take it all back if I could.” Their “argument” is that Trump’s life is at risk if he doesn’t get a new dance floor, and they want Leon to disavow his previous legal ruling—all because of an assassination attempt that didn’t even take place at the White House.
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But wait, it gets worse. As first reported by Chris Geidner on his Substack Law Dork, it seems that Woodward and the DOJ allowed Trump himself to write most of the legal filing. The 500-word opening does not read like, well, a legal filing. Instead, it has all the telltale signs of a Trump post on social media. There’s the ubiquitous use of exclamation points. The random use of all-caps to emphasize words. The reference to “Trump Derangement Syndrome.”
This isn’t a legal document, it’s a Trump screed filed in court.
This move is a betrayal of what the DOJ stands for, and a massive legal power grab by Trump. To put it in context: President Joe Biden wouldn’t so much as call Attorney General Merrick Garland to check up on his work. Attorney General Loretta Lynch recused herself from an entire case because former President Bill Clinton talked to her briefly on a tarmac. But now, we have President Trump appearing to write the DOJ’s court filings. In ten years, we’ve gone from a wall of separation between the White House and the DOJ to the White House literally dictating to the agency.
I suppose I should be happy that Trump and the DOJ have crossed this Rubicon over something as stupid as the ballroom as opposed to anything approaching important. And it’s not like people didn’t already know Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche is there to do whatever Trump tells him to do. Still, having Trump himself write the filings lowers the bar to previously unplumbed depths. And, as with everything in the Trump administration, it will only get worse.
The three-judge panel hearing Trump’s ballroom appeal consists of Patrica Millet (an Obama appointee), Bradley Garcia (a Biden appointee), and Neomi Rao (a Trump appointee). I expect Judge Leon’s ruling will be upheld by this panel (over what will be a truly unhinged dissent from Rao, who still hopes to be a Trump Supreme Court nominee some day), and then it will be onto the Supreme Court. The Republican supermajority on that court may well give Trump his bottle (I mean, ballroom), but they might not, because, again, this issue is beyond stupid.
But if Trump loses all of his appeals, will he even abide by the rulings? I wouldn’t have thought that a freaking ballroom would be the point at which Trump tells the Supreme Court to go jump in a lake, but, I mean the man survived another threat on his life, and the first thing he thought of was, “See, what I really need is to crunk up in a dancery.” He’s fixated on this beyond all reason.
What’s truly amazing about this whole thing is that his capture of the DOJ will outlive his tenure, but his ballroom might not. That’s because I expect the next Democratic president (if there is a next Democratic president) to destroy the ballroom. And then I expect them to prosecute the criminals from the Trump administration, even if they have to write the charging documents themself.
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