If you want to sound confident, avoid expressions that broadcast your insecurity. Eliminate the following words and expressions from your speech.
1. LOOK!
This word is usually uttered in a commanding tone. It orders the audience to pay attention. It is rarely the mark of a respected leader. Just the opposite.
Saying “Look!” suggests you’ve lost the audience or you don’t feel confident that your message will hold their interest. Speakers who bark at the audience this way are trying desperately to sound strong.
The solution is to speak in such a way that people want to hear what you have to say. People are more likely to want to listen when you show that you have conviction about what you’re saying.
So use strong words. Say “I believe that . . .”; “I am convinced that . . .”; “I know that . . .”; or “My experience has taught me that . . .” Put some conviction behind what you say by using strong verbs.
When you show confidence, others will believe you and follow you.
2. LISTEN!
Commanding the audience to listen has the same effect as “Look!” does. It, too, shows the speaker’s insecurities.
We have all heard an executive tell the audience to “Listen” or “Listen up,” rather than presenting their message in a way that those attending will be keen to learn more. When a leader says, “Listen up, we’ve had a bad quarter,” they are compounding bad news with an offensive expression.
Never command your audience to listen. Again, use strong expressions, such as “I am convinced that . . .”
3. WHAT I MEAN IS
This expression makes clear that the speaker has fumbled in getting their message across.
Take the speaker who says, “We have worked hard but we need to work smarter.” If he follows it with “What I mean is” or “What I’m saying is,” listeners will decide the last thing they heard isn’t worth remembering. It’s a confession that you’ve not been clear.
It’s better to simply explain what you mean, without the throat clearing. Say, for example, “We can work smarter by being mindful of three things.”
4. I’M THINKING THAT
This expression also undermines the message, suggesting the presenter is collecting their thoughts. If that’s the case, why take those utterances seriously?
Audiences don’t want to hear that you are thinking, they want the results of your careful deliberation.
This expression makes you sound half-baked. Instead, give your audience the substance that will inspire them.
5. I’LL BE HONEST
This, too, undercuts the speaker. It suggests that you’ve not been honest elsewhere in your remarks.
“I’ll be honest” is often used as a filler expression to buy extra time as the speaker thinks through what they’ll say next. It’s better to pause in silence as you think through the next thought.
Pauses heighten your audience’s interest in what you’re about to say.
6. YOU KNOW
This filler expression often has no meaning, or is presumptuous. When you say in a job interview, “You know, I believe I have what you are looking for,” you assume the interviewer has a certain outlook.
To project confidence, eliminate “you know,” “uh,” “er,” and “ah” from your speech. Learn the power of the pause, and don’t clutter your listener’s mind with empty filler words and expressions.