The quality of our decisions defines our legacy as leaders. We make around 35,000 decisions a day and close to 800,000,000 in a lifetime. Not all decisions are equal. Many are default, some are reversible, but the consequential ones leave us with no U-turn. Decision-making is inescapable. So, let’s delve deeper into the anatomy of good decisions.
What drives good vs. bad?
Our decisions are deeply rooted in our values, competence, courage, and compassion. The psychological context from which decisions flow includes our emotional intelligence, comfort zone, values, moods, needs, decision-making style, and crucially, our self-awareness. Good decisions matter, but what drives the chemistry of good versus bad?
Emotionally intelligent leaders have mastered the skill of responding rather than reacting. They understand the interplay between their comfort zone and their fears and the limitations this imposes. They have identified their nonnegotiable values. They understand that moods are biochemical responses to be tamed before making consequential decisions. They know their basic human needs can generate significant blind spots and patterns of decision-making of which they must become aware. Finally, leaders have preferred decision-making styles that determine both the quality and speed of their decisions. This is the chemistry of decision-making.
It’s clear, then, that the thoughts and emotions of a leader have the greatest impact on the quality of their decisions. So what are the safeguards for good decisions? Competence, courage, and compassion boosted by self-awareness and supported by values.
The foundation
Self-awareness is foundational. It enables us to see ourselves similarly to how others see us. We can stand outside ourselves and observe our behavior and the effect it has on our personal and professional relationships and the results we achieve. Self-awareness includes consciousness of our internal dialogue, the words we use, and the impact these words have on our emotions and behaviors. I have conducted thousands of Business Emotional Intelligence psychometric profiles and seen that on a standard deviation scale of one to ten, over 65% of leaders score between 4 and 7 on the self-awareness scale.
Without self-awareness, we look outward for the causes of failure, blame others, and cast ourselves in the role of a victim instead of a responsible leader. With deep self-awareness, we are better positioned to apply the three Cs of good decisions: competence, courage, and compassion.
The three Cs
- Competence means that we are capable of transforming our knowledge and experience into practical and coherent actions. We have sufficient objectivity to recognize that we do not know everything and that in this complex world with unparalleled depth and breadth of knowledge, we are not the ultimate reference for anything. We surround ourselves with competent, multidisciplinary teams who bring complementary capabilities into our circle of influence. We welcome those who ask uncomfortable questions, scrutinize the details, point out the risks, and have respectful adult-to-adult conversations with us. Most important of all, we do not want to be the “Emperor” in the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes.
- Courage. The willingness to make unpopular decisions, admit that we were wrong or that we made a mistake, is what courage looks like in decision-making. It takes courage to look in the mirror and objectively (as is humanly possible) examine the facts from multiple perspectives, scrutinize the logic, face our biases, and strip away the vanity of our egos in order to make the hard decisions. Here are three questions and their shadow questions that can help us make decisions based on principle instead of popularity:
- What did you focus on?
- But what did you miss?
- What did it mean?
- How was your interpretation distorted by your assumptions?
- What did you do?
- What action did you not take?
- Compassion. Awakening our humanity by looking at our fellow humans and recognizing that they too have feelings, needs, and perspectives is what empathy is about. We do not have to agree or disagree with them. Understanding others enriches and expands our range and depth of experience. It does not threaten our existence. Compassion is not pity. It is a recognition of what makes us human. If we close our eyes to what is happening around us, we miss the most critical component of all. Decisions are not driven by facts. Decisions are driven by emotion and justified by facts. By ignoring emotions we omit one of the most critical components of good decisions.
Fear of the unknown
According to the Center for Creative Leadership and Harvard Business School, the greatest fear of the CEOs of the 200 top companies in the U.S. is not knowing what they don’t know—for example, what the next disruptive technology will be and where it will come from. Emotion is what drives action, not logic. Recognizing this will improve the quality of our decisions and ensure that good decisions are acted upon.
Good decisions are actionable, aligned, and sustainable through clarity of purpose based on values. Values are what matters most to us. However, we are often unaware of our values because values drive our default behaviors, habits, and unconscious biases. The good news is that we can become conscious of what our values really are by analyzing our most difficult and life-changing decisions. Embedded in our subconscious programming, once consciously identified, values enable us to find our purpose and make decisions that are not only attainable but also sustainable. Life-changing decisions like leaving your medical practice to become a bestselling author or volunteering to do unpaid work because you want to contribute are good examples. Our values drive and support our decisions.
In conclusion, self-awareness boosts good decisions because it enables leaders to look inward and outward and objectively separate their assumptions from the true causes of problems. The three Cs—competence, courage, and compassion—form a powerful triad upon which great leaders can make better decisions. Looking for the facts through multidisciplinary perspectives, separating ego from objectives, and understanding the human impact of decisions are safeguards. Finally, when good values are aligned with purpose, decisions become more actionable. These are the foundations of good decisions.